Giving children independence

Over the last six months, I’ve been learning a lot of lessons in giving my children independence. As an example, Little Mermaid has been taking swimming lessons for about 12 months now. Until the start of this year, I was always in the pool with her. This year, her teacher decided it was time for me to sit on the sidelines. It is so nerve wracking!

She is supposed to hold the bar and wait for the teacher. Being the water baby that she is, she splashes around and plays under the water, scaring the daylights out of me. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve jumped up out of my seat to rescue her, only to be greeted by her enormous grin when she resurfaces.

At times it’s been very difficult for me to relinquish control and quash my urge to protect the kids. Each time though, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at what they could achieve by themselves. I have also been rewarded by the pride and self confidence the children have developed as a result of achieving something for themselves. I am reminded that kids need to push boundaries and be challenged in order to develop a sense of self and vital life skills.

PlanningQueen’s post today, What to Expect When You’re Expecting an Adolescent, reminded me that giving children independence is an ongoing process. It’s not a stage they go through like teething or toilet training.

So I need to work on letting go – for my sake as much as theirs. The apron strings will need to be cut at some stage I guess. It’s better if we do it slowly together than in chaotic conflict over the some of most difficult years of their lives.

Flickr image by Klynslis