For a lot of people “need” and “want” have come to mean the same thing. All to often we are being programmed from an early age to believe that wants are needs. Rather than being guided by our heads when it comes to purchases, we are guided by our hearts.
We need food, shelter, clothing and love. We want most everything else. Over and above the basics for survival, this will vary from family to family. But I’m sure many of us could quite comfortably get by on much less than we think.
Our predicament
Until recently, as the “grown ups” in our family, The Thinker and I never really considered want vs need in a conscious way when making purchasing decisions. As a result we ended up living beyond our means. If we wanted something and there was enough credit left on our cards, we’d buy it regardless of what else we had to pay for that month.
Hmm, those new Macbooks look nice. I need a new computer, I think I’ll get one of those.
I need a bike to ride to school with the kids. I’ll go to the sports store tomorrow and order a new one.
The Thinker is doing a lot more driving around for work now. We need to get him a brand new car.
Are we better off?
These are all things The Thinker and I have said to ourselves and followed through on in the not too distant past. Somewhere along the decision making process the new, expensive things became absolutely necessary to us. Did these things make us any happier and our life any easier?
Well, I love my Macbook, but I could have got by with my old PC. We probably walk to school as often as we ride, and secondhand good quality bikes are going for a steal in the paper every weekend. And as terrific as the new car is, we could have saved thousands of dollars on a good quality second hand car. All these things are nice but they also got us a chunk of debt.
Then there’s the kids. There are the sports and activities, the latest “educational” toys, the clothes, the parties…the list is endless.
Who’s to blame?
Why did we make the decisions to buy these things? I guess we could blame the media. All that advertising showing us the latest shiny thing that we simply must have in order to get by in modern life. I guess we could blame the banks. They keep sending us automatic credit increases and are quite willing to let us draw on the equity in our home. Could we blame our peers?
Look, the Jones’ have a great plasma that they picked up for a steal. I think we need a new TV.
The secret
At some stage though, we need to take responsibility for the decisions we make. It is up to us to gather the information needed to make a proper judgement of what we really do need. Then if we have some cash left over, look at the wants.
Now, instead of making impulsive purchases we look at our budget. We ask ourselves if we can afford the purchase. We ask if we really need it. If it gets relegated to a want, we ask do we want it enough to use a hard saved x dollars.
This has been an amazing process. As you’d probably guess, most things that we put through this approach have been put in the “wants” basket. The amazing part is, that after something has been in the “wants” basket for a little while, we find out that we didn’t really want it all that much in the end anyway. How magic is that?
I certainly hear you on this topic.
One thing my family of 6 does to help reduce the costs of ‘wants’ is to locate them at garage sales. The prices can’t be beat and quite often, the items you can find are of better quality than you’d opt to spend when considering retail at the stores.
Data points,
Barbara
Barbara Lings last blog post..21 Days to a more profitable blog – Day 9! Add Amazon to your WordPress blog sidebar
Wow, thank you for the great reminder – I think this should be printed out and put in everyone’s wallet everytime they reach for money!
Tip Divas last blog post..Top Ten Tips – Saving Money On Clothes
Wow, just came for a quick browse and have to say this is such a powerful article. I wish more people would use the system you described and less focused on consumerism.
I am almost conscious of the fact if I just want or if I really need something that I desire and have also found that if I am taking my time I find as you highlighted that often my desire isn’t as strong as I though or was only a passing desire anyway.
Marks last blog post..Should we include a “Truth Window”?
We have been using a budget since I left pad work 7 years ago and I have always found it to give me the extra disccipline I need to think twice before purchasing. Sound like it is working well for you too – congratualtions.
PlanningQueens last blog post..Removing The Battle Lines
Spot on …wants are just that.I have been trying to follow the ‘buy nothing challenge’ excluding essentials and so far it has been working.
It is sometimes so hard to escape the 20 catalogues -100 of pages of $avings in the mail box.
They rope people in
I have to work on our budget (doing a four month review now).I think twice and thrice now and the want for the want goes away.
I did succumb to buying some cheap things for birthday gifts.Not for myself but I regret it now.
Trishs last blog post..A New BEST day ever -update
It’s hard to resist all the demands of society!! It seems like society is constantly pushing us to buy, buy, buy – and it’s way too easy to fall into that trap.
A couple years ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to escape that trap. We wanted our kids to learn to live simply and understand they don’t “need” all the toys of modern society. We quit our jobs and took off to spend a year biking around the USA and Mexico.
In those twelve months, we learned so much about wants vs needs. Since we were traveling on bikes, we simply COULDN’T carry a lot of “stuff”. The kids knew that and didn’t ask – they knew too. they spend their time playing with Mother Nature’s toys – rocks, sticks, and pinecones. The amazing thing is that they were perfectly happy – in fact I would say they were happier than they ever were at home surrounded by “stuff”.
Now we are getting ready to take off again – this time we’ll pedal from Alaska to Argentina. All four of us are excited about getting back on the road and are looking forward to a life less complicated.
You can read about our journey at http://www.familyonbikes.org
Thanks for the tip Barbara. I’ve bought a few things second hand out of the newspaper at times, but never seem to have much luck at garage sales. Maybe I don’t get out of bed early enough 🙂
Mark & PlanningQueen – it really is a matter of discipline, isn’t it. It can take a long time to break old habits. Well done to you both.
Trish – we have a “No Junk Mail” sticker on our mailbox so we miss out on all the catalogues. If I’m really looking for something most of the stores have their catalogues online now. I think a budget is a great way to help us think twice about what we’re spending. As you’ve experienced, it can remind us of where we didn’t do so well too.
FamilyOnBikes – What an exciting journey! I’m going to look through your site over breakfast. We are hoping to take a year off in the not too distant future to caravan around Australia. I’m thinking about how we can reduce our “stuff” for that. I can bearly imagine carting all our belongings on bikes 🙂 Enjoy your next adventure!
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Great read! Thanks for sharing it.
Best Wishes,
D4L
Dividends4Lifes last blog post..Who is Ben Grossbaum and Why Should We Lisiten to Him?
I’ve had the “wants vs. needs” conversation with my own kids as well as students I deal with. Nice post.
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