Journeyer’s Chronicles

Flickr: Seth Thomas Rassmussen

Do you ever wonder how your kids turned out to be so different? Today is The Engineers 7th birthday. After a number of false starts during the night, we let him get up at 5:45 this morning to begin his celebrations. Of course, he was most interested in what presents he would be receiving.

I’m a little surprised that he hasn’t been more excited in the lead up to his birthday. Until today, it was a matter of fact affair for him. Cinderella (5) on the other hand, has been jumping out of her skin all week. She’s been counting down sleeps, helping to choose presents, making lollie bags and planning a fabulous (family) party. The Little Mermaid (3) doesn’t care what happens, as long as she gets her lollies.

This has highlighted to me once again how different our kids are.

Nature vs Nurture

The nature vs nurture debate is a complicated one, where new research is constantly changing the goal posts. My own (very unscientific) experiences lead me to believe that nature has a lot more to do with how our kids behave. How else can the huge differences in personalities of children raised in the same environment be explained?

Some research has suggested that genetics and environment affect people differently depending on whether they’re male or female. Take these examples from LiveScience:

when it comes to taking that first smoke, women are more likely than men to be affected by environmental factors such as peer pressure. Genetic factors, however, play a larger role in influencing men to start smoking.

…exposure to pesticides and industrial chemicals, play a greater role in men developing Parkinson’s disease, while genetic factors affect Parkinson’s susceptibility in women.

Birth Order

The affect of birth order seems to be even more complicated than nature vs nurture. Looking at the general characteristics listed here, I can see some of them in our kids, especially The Engineer. Obviously, the makeup of the environment they are raised in has some impact on their behaviours.

Boys vs Girls

Is it simply that boys and girls are different? Before my kids were born I was adamant that I would raise them all the same, no matter if they were boys or girls. Girls could play with trucks, boys with dolls. I wasn’t expecting that girls seem to be preprogrammed to mother everything and love pink, and boys to have an inherent love of powertools.

For me, this cements the nature argument further. I find that a little scary. Could it be that even with all the love, care and effort we put into raising our kids, they’re going to turn out a predetermined way anyway?